How to Free Online Dating [Part I]
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How to Online Dating? Pros and Cons
Many people have fears when they think about internet dating. It seems very unreal, unreliable and pretentious in the online dating world. There are many online dating sites in the internet and some are partially free with a choice to pay for premium features.
I have tried a lot of free online dating sites over the past 6 years when I was in Singapore and France. I was most active in 2013 to 2014 when I stayed in France because I have nothing much to do and writing to people became one pastime. Meeting people particularly the French, was part of my intention to understand the culture deeper.
I have read hundreds and maybe thousand of online dating profiles of both men and women because I am very curious to know how other people write their profiles, what kind of photos they upload and how they look like.
I still do not understand why people are so skeptical and negative about online dating when some have not even tried. Perhaps they didn’t screen the right person to talk to according to what they want or perhaps they unwittingly give a wrong idea about themselves to the other party which resulted the first meetup to be awkward.
My screening process is very strict. I can happily say that I went out with quality men most of the time and the dates were exactly the way I wanted them to be, natural, relaxed in each other presence, fun-going with lots of laughter and awesome conversations. Getting a second date initiated by the man is a clear evidence of a successful first date.
What are The Advantages of Internet Dating?
Before we even discuss about the advantages, your mindset has to be set right. Online dating is a platform for friendship to blossom into the possibility of becoming exclusive in future, to have a first meetup but it doesn’t guarantee people that they can succeed in getting what they want. This means that most of the people that you meet will not become your future partner, but merely a friend or an acquaintance to start with.
1. Majority of the people in online dating are singles and looking for something
By referring to singles, I include in the pool of people who are divorced, widowed or those with children who do not have a partner in their life at that moment. Some people in online dating are already married or in some form of an exclusive relationship.
We are not discussing about this group of people at this moment but only people who are eligible to go on a normal date as defined by the norm.
When you meet somebody interesting and appealing to you in social gathering or even on the street, supermarkets, bars etc. Have you ever wondered whether the person is taken or married? Yes I know you did at some point but did not have the courage to ask your questions directly and skip the chance to know further.
When you are in online dating, you know you have a large pool of people who are singles like you and are available in one way or another. They are looking for at least one of these – friendship, sex, short term and long term relationship.
Many people state what they want upfront in their online dating profile whether directly or indirectly. Sometimes the description is not clear and you have to read in between the lines to find out what they are looking for and this can be rather ambiguous.
You have a better chance to meet people through online dating platform if you do not have much of a social life due to working too much or simply because you are shy or just an introvert where approaching strangers in real life is out of your sanity.
Many people do not have a lot of experience and expectation in online dating and just leave it to destiny on how it will work out for them in future. Majority of the people tried it because they are curious what is in-store for them. Some people just want to meet others to hone their social and communication skill so it is pretty fun if you can take online dating light-heartedly and positively.
2. You might know a person better in online dating than in real life
I think many people will oppose to this statement but hear me out first. This statement applies strongly to strangers in online dating whom you have never met before because it is part of the filtering and screening process. If you are popular and have a large group of people who write to you and eager to go out with you, you will not have the time to go out with any Tom, Dick and Harry. You will be very picky who you go out with.
The greatest advantage of online dating is to be able to talk about each other’s desires, values and objectives in life truthfully without the pressure and emotions from facing another person.
Think about this common scenario that is happening everyday. A couple meet up immediately after exchanging 1 to 2 emails online. The woman is expecting a relationship may happen and the man just want sex with no strings attached. How can you know the expectation of the other person better in real life when both parties are not even communicating and getting to know each other better online?
Not everyone in online dating lies. Some people lie about their weight, height, and age but they normally do not place emphasis in lying about their thoughts and their expectations. In fact, most people tend to tell the truth to a stranger online because at this point, there is no obligation to please the other person and people just speak their mind openly.
I thought I was the only one who think that through online dating one can know the other party better. Surprisingly, It turned out that one Taiwanese girl I know online (yes, she made friends with me) also said exactly same thing from her experience when we exchanged our online dating experiences.
When you meet someone after talking to them for a while, the conversation is no longer in the screening mode. Instead, the relationship has advanced to a real friendship where many questions considered as sensitive and heavy should be avoided for a start.